Printed from
Kabbalah facts and fantasies

FAQ: Soul Mates & more

FAQ: Soul Mates & more

Beginner Beginner
FAQ: Soul Mates & more
Kabbalah facts and fantasies

QUESTION: "Does each person have an 'other half'? Like a missing piece/side - like Eve was to Adam? Also, do you normally meet this person in each life time if you go through more than one?"

ANSWER: Yes, the complementary part of one's soul. Ideally it should happen in each life time, but this can be affected by the relative merits of the two people. This is discussed in our Gate of Reincarnations series.

QUESTION: "How can the Kabbalah help in finding a soul-mate? Is there a special prayer that can be read for soul-mates' union or other rituals and practices? How can a Jewish woman use the Kabbalah to bring her and her soul-mate together?"

ANSWER: There are no magic formulas or instantaneous solutions. Beware of anybody who would sell one to you.
All we can do is make the effort to increase our merit in G‑d's eyes. Give extra charity, intensify in mitzvah fulfillment and Torah study. An especially propitious time for prayer in this matter is just before lighting your Shabbat candles. Give a coin (at least) to charity first. Also, take on some of the Kabbalah emphasis on "kavana" - focused attention and concentration on the mitzva deeds you do and the words of prayer and Torah that you say. This will increase your spiritual sensitivity as well as your merit, which will certainly lead to the successful fulfillment of the above stated quest, hopefully soon.

QUESTION: "Is there a way I can have my fortune read to ask about a certain person in my life, and where my relationship with her is going to go? Can't a Kabbalist tell your fortune?"

ANSWER: Not in legitimate Judaism there isn't. A Kabbalist fortune-teller is a contradiction in terms and therefore a fake. At your own risk!

QUESTION: "Does the Kabbalah hold any mystical remedies for bad skin (acne), weight loss and finding one's zivug quickly?"

ANSWER: No. Kabbalah is not magic. Beware of anyone who promises you miraculous remedies. From what you write, it seems that a healthful diet would take care of at least two if not all of the stated problems.

QUESTION: "I am 23 yrs old and, I am looking to fulfill my purpose in life. I am very spiritual and try always to help others, yet I always I feel a lack of purpose in my life. I have been invited to travel to meet men for the purpose of getting engaged, but I think that before getting married I must be at peace with myself. So I am looking to see what type of job or activity I can do everyday to feel satisfied. I haven't found anything; I want to work in something that brings me joy and happiness. What is best, to find a job and then look for a guy, or to find a guy and then see what to do?"

ANSWER: This is a good and important question. My opinion is you should turn towards marriage. Acquiring a job rarely produces inner joy or satisfaction, while finding your soul mate and building a home nearly always does. Good luck.

QUESTION 1: "I am 33 years old and 4 weeks ago lost my husband to cancer. I have been consoled by countless people who have told me that my husband's soul is still around "watching" over me and my 2 young sons. Is this true? If it is, then, does his soul retain his mind?"

ANSWER 1: Maybe, maybe not, although it is probably better for his soul to not be connected to down here. There is no one rule that applies to all souls. Nevertheless, his soul is certainly prepared to be a conduit for your and your sons' prayers.

QUESTION 2: "Also, I have always been told that a person has only one soul mate. I love my husband so much that the thought of loving another is incomprehensible. Can a person have 2 soul mates?"

ANSWER 2: The Ari says that sometimes a person has a double soul mate - that is, the soul is split between two.

QUESTION 3: "If they can't, then I hope my husband didn't die for me to find my other true love."

ANSWER 3: No, of course not. We presume he died because his soul had finished its assigned tasks for this lifetime.

QUESTION 4: "If the answer to any of these questions is reincarnation, well then, where is my husband now, and when does reincarnation actually take place?"

ANSWER 4: No way to know. No one answer fits every case.

QUESTION: "How can I tell if I have truly met my soul mate, and can I pray for a particular person?"

ANSWER: You can and should pray that you will meet your soul mate and that you will recognize him (otherwise known as "the right person at the right time").
To pray that a particular person should turn out to be your soul mate is a classic case of a prayer in vain. Who your soul mate is has, by definition, already been determined. So you would be praying for something that already is and can't be changed - like praying over a fetus in the eighth month that it be a particular gender.

QUESTION: "How to get over a broken heart?"

ANSWER: Good question! Clearly she is not the one you are supposed to marry. But only if you open yourself to proceed in your life will you be able to meet the right one.
Prayer helps, and so do clear goals, which you can move towards accomplishing in incremental steps.

QUESTION: "I have a very sensitive question to discuss. I am 22 years old, have just graduated from college, and started to work full-time. Naturally, the next step would be to "shidduch" date until my destined soul mate is found. Admittedly, I have gone on very few dates (less than 10 over the last 2 years). And, after one date per girl I usually get the same response, in one form or another. I feel lost to an extent, and also feel that the matchmakers aren't doing the job they are supposed to be doing.

Why am I posting this on a Kabbalah-related website? Simple. I know that according to Kabbalah/ Chasidut, G‑d designates everyone's soul mate, but at the same time each of us has to make an effort to find and be found. I also know that every failed shidduch leads each person one step closer to finding ones destined spouse. But, isn't there a purification process that a person can go through in order to speed up the process? Before I continue judging others, I would like to first judge myself and see where I'm going wrong, which may as a result affect my spiritual growth as well as meeting my pre-destined soul mate at the prescribed time. Is there anything I should do before delving into specifics? Thanks."

ANSWER: The best context for "cheshbon hanefesh" - an honest soul-accounting - is Kriyat Shema al HaMita – the prayer before sleep, especially on Thursday nights and Erev Rosh Chodesh.

That said, I must also say that I don't necessarily accept your assumption that you have been "going wrong". You haven't met the right person yet, and before you graduated college and started working certainly doesn't sound like the right time. If you feel you are not getting appropriate response from professional matchmakers, you can always ask friends for suggestions. Many prefer that anyway.

Looking forward to hearing some good news from you.

Yerachmiel Tilles is the co-founder of Ascent-of-Safed, and was its educational director for 18 years. He is the creator of and and currently the director of both sites. He is also a well-known storyteller, a columnist for numerous chassidic publications, and a staff rabbi on, as well as and the author of "Saturday Night, Full Moon": Intriguing Stories of Kabbalah Sages, Chasidic Masters and other Jewish Heroes.
Join the Discussion
Sort By:
1000 characters remaining
Anonymous Brisbane July 20, 2017

TWINS AND GRIEVE Could any wise and knowledgeable person help me to understand better, from the heart of Kabbalah, how to live-grieve my twin, that was avorted arround 4/5 or 6 month pregnancy?
I learned about it at 58, after relieving it,even feeling and seeing the my twin before the abortions that I "miraculously" escape. It was unexpected, with medical expert and witness , that this incredible memory came back to me.
Then I got confirmation ( my passed away Jewish mum had a lot of psychiatric issues because of the Holocaust, so I never ever blamed her for any mistreatment and this discovered abortion neither). However,I always felt so so empathetic at all level, even physically with living beings,peoples and animals or events.
Is it because of this missing twin , that I "twin-like" care for many people? Feeling their suffering and joy as mine too? Since childhood I talk and behaved like I'm WE, now I'm 60, can you help me? Reply

Webmaster Tzefat, Israel via December 18, 2016

for Susannah It is permitted, but only if the three stages transpire in the order you yourself set out:
convert (first and then) meet-marry. Otherwise you would be converting for the sake of a particular marriage rather than for the sake of G-d and the religion. ("meet" here means serious, not casual acquaintance.) Reply

Susannah Bakersfield, CALIFORNIA via October 16, 2016

Jewish and non Jewish couple Is it possible for a non-Jewish woman who would like to convert meet and marry a Jewish man who is her soul mate? I can't imagine why a loving G-d would forbid this. Thank you for your reply. Reply

Daniel ari haifa January 23, 2014

My soul partner shalom,
I am Daniel Ari, 34 years old..was dating a wonderful girl about 10 months but recently about a month ago, she broke up with me but iam waiting for her want to reunite with her. I am asking any prayer in Kabbalah for reunite in Hebrew and its meaning in english.
Todah Rabah. Reply

Webmaster Tzefat, Israel via January 7, 2013

To: Anonymous, hollywood, fl There are certain rabbis learned in Kabbalah who can pick up indications from the Jewish names of a potential couple whether they are compatible or not. This does not mean if he says "not compatible" that is the end of the road. For example, I know of such a case where as a result the girl decided to change her name (by adding another name to her original one). I also know of cases where the rabbi himself recommended specific name changes.
No rabbi will forbid a marriage that is permissible according to Jewish law. But they will give their opinion if asked. And if the questioner is someone already connected to the rabbi, he may give a strong opinion, if he feels the person ill be receptive. Reply

Anonymous hollywood, fl via December 27, 2012

Rabbis that can tell if you should be with someone ...Can a rabbi really tell you if you are destined to be with someone or not? And are there any rabbis in the world that can say yes or no to a couple wanting to get married? Reply

Laura Arlington, VA November 27, 2012

on questioning whether the woman is the right one never doubt the signs that are sent to you by God and his angels. Its in your heart - you'll know if you pray and ask whether this is the right woman for you. certainly you'll never be able to truly forget her or find someone else. Reply

Webmaster Tzefat, Israel via September 26, 2011

To Belgrade NO, it is not possible" that a Jew's soul mate be a non-Jewish woman," because she is forbidden to him by the Torah.. Reply

Anonymous Belgrade, serbia September 16, 2011

Soul mate Is it possible that Jew soul mate be non Jewish woman. Reply

Anonymous via February 23, 2011

Does G-d communicate to us via "signs"? How much faith should a person put in "signs"? Case in point, I think I may have met my true soulmate, and my meeting her and certain points in our relationship have been marked by many, many amazing "coincidences". As a man of faith, though, I believe in Divine Providence and that there are no such things as "coincidences". Nevertheless, should I read into what my mind and heart tell me are "signs" or am I just being superstitious? Reply

Related Topics

The larger, bold text is the direct translation of the classic text source.

The smaller, plain text is the explanation of the translator/editor.
Text with broken underline will provide a popup explanation when rolled over with a mouse.