| |
Honoring Parents
From the Torah:
Honor your father and your mother. You will then live
long on the land that G-d your L-rd is giving you. (Ex. 20:12)
These matters are those that a man eats their fruits
in this world and their principal is retained for him in the World to Come. And
these are they: Honoring one's father and mother... (Shabbat 127a)
From the Arizal:
Behold the son that comes from the father, the son is
an "effect" of the father, and the father is the son's cause, who brought him
into being. [Accordingly,] the effect is bound to the cause that brought him
into being...
This explains the reason for honoring parents, for no
shefa (abundant spiritual energy) from Above is drawn to the son, except
through the means of the pathways [established by his parents] and their agency,
for he is their effect, as has been mentioned. Now this explanation suffices
when the souls of the parents and the children are from one [spiritual] source.  | | " Wisdom from our sages across the ages" | | |
Then they are above and he is below them, and needs them, in order to draw down
his abundant spiritual energy and life force by their agency. But, the majority
of children, as is known, are not from the same [spiritual] source [of their
parents], for this one is from chesed (kindness), and this one is from
gevura (restraint) and their like. Particularly in the case of reincarnated
souls, the children do not have a [spiritual] lineage with their fathers in most
cases, and they do not have any [spiritual] lineage or closeness with the souls
of their fathers, or their mothers at all, in any essential way. And many times
we find the opposite: a despised man, and lowly in the extreme, fathers a
completely righteous and great wise son, whose soul is higher than that of his
father 1000 levels. In such cases, why are the children obligated to honor their
parents? | | " From the father, chesed; from the mother, severity" | | |
But the secret of the matter is the following: Know
that every soul is drawn from either the chasadim or the gevurot
in the daat of Zeir Anpin, and the soul has its own source there.
When a man unites with his soul mate, they draw down this soul here mentioned,
and then her father gives to her a small portion from the dimension of his
chasadim (kindnesses) that is in him, and they join with this new soul. The
dimension from her father is made into something like a garment for her, in
order to guide her and assist her in this world, to fulfill the mitzvot and be
absorbed in the Torah. For since the infant is born small, how will it know on
its own to walk in the ways of Torah and the mitzvot, if not by the means
of the portion of the father's soul that assists, advises and guides him? And if
this soul is new [i.e. not a reincarnated soul], it is not habituated to this
world and needs support to help, establish and guide her. And if she is a
reincarnated soul, she too requires help, for her original sins prevent her to
travel along the good way.
Similarly, the mother gives to this soul a portion
from the gevurot (severities) that is in her, making for her something
like a garment. In this manner, whatever a person does in this world, a portion
of it an be linked to the father and the mother, for they are his helpers,
guiding him in this world, by the means of this garment with which they
enclothed him, as mentioned. And even all the shefa that is channeled to
him from above, is drawn down only through this garment. (Gate of the Commandments, parashat Yitro, pp.
33-34)
From the Talmud
The Rabbi's taught: There are three partners in a
person's creation: The Holy One, blessed be He, the father, and the mother. The
father supplies implants the white substance, out of which are formed the
child's bones, sinews, nails, the brain, and the white in his eye. The
mother supplies the fluid of the red substance, from which is formed the
skin, flesh, hair, blood and the black in his eye; and the Holy One, blessed be
He, gives the child the spirit and the soul, beauty of features,
eyesight, the power of hearing and the ability to speak and to walk,
understanding and discernment.(Nidda, 31a)
From the Ramak
We therefore ascribe the color red to the place of
judgment (gevura), Furthermore, everything that is red is derived from
the power of this root...Likewise, the color white indicates kindness and peace (chesed)...
( Pardes Rimonim, Shaar Mahut Ve'hanaga)
Commentary:
Today, the path to honoring one's parents, for many,
is a long one, filled with significant internal obstacles. Many people have
first to work through their anger and grief, in relationship to their
upbringing, before this commandment of the Torah can be integrated and lived in
its fullest expression. In order to honor one's parents one needs to have
attained equanimity (hishtavut) regarding one's past hurts and losses.
When we can healthily detach from the ego and operate from a perspective of soul
then honoring one's parents, even if they are largely the same people who hurt
us, is nevertheless possible and even a liberating act. To love is to give, to
be mature is to love. In original cultures the transition from childhood to
adulthood has always been related to marriage, the quintessential forum for
love. Likewise, with our parents, the transition of our role, from that of
primarily being receivers, to that of primarily being givers is a significant
stage in life. To love your parents is to honor them. The parent-child
relationship is unequal. In its first phase, the parents give to the child; in
its later stage the child gives to the parents. In the middle of this process
there can be an exchange, but it is never between equals. In the absence of this
equality, love expresses itself partially as honor.
The Arizal's fundamental insight is that
honoring one's parents is related to the development of one's spirituality. To
honor one's parents is, in essence, to recognize them, and this acknowledgment
facilitates for them the potential expansion of their soul. Honoring a person
for who they are allows more of who they are to come through. The Arizal
is emphasizing that by offering this sincere honor we expand our own soul, via
the garment they have bequeathed us, and is still connected to them. Thus we
receive through our giving even more than they do through their receiving.
Visitor Comments: 1
Anonymous, 8/8/2005
Very Aristotelian in the notio
|
|
|
|
